I am looking forward to Danny Boyle’s 127 HOURS which has just completed filming in Utah and will hopefully come out sometime soon. I simply adored SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE and was a great admirer of TRASINSPOTTING. Boyle is a good Northern bloke who’s made exceptional works and deserves to be singled out as one of the best things in modern filmmaking. He has also made some very shit things and today’s article in The Times suggesting the organisers of the London Olympics 2012 are hungrily tapping Boyle to direct its opening ceremony makes me think he’s about to undertake another Beach. Some overpaid dickhead closely involved in planning the London Olympic 2012 Games said Boyle was a favoured candidate because, “We want the most imaginative ceremony the world has ever seen. Nothing has been signed yet, but we do fully expect him to do it.” Boyle was quick to retort by saying (in blunt Northern tones); “I can’t say any more. It would be lovely, wouldn’t it?”
So it seems it’s blowjobs all around as Boyle as the London Olympic 2012 fuckers spend money we can’t afford to put on a masterful display of performing dogs, flat-cap wearing ventriloquists, Pan’s People revival routines, terrible Bhangra shindigs, Hip-Hop dancing crap, jerk-chicken stalls, jellied eel eating contests and lots of other embarrassingly shit British things fit for the Royal Variety Performance of any year. Danny Boyle resides in Mile End so he does live where the Olympics are taking place and he has lived there for some time, but he must know the London Olympics 2012 will suck. China fucked us all by hosting an Olympic Games that cost £17 Trillion and was handled with such aplomb that we as a mediocre nation can never live up to it. We are dull and stiff, and we don’t know how to do anything cost-effectively. We’re also fucking broke as a nation and don’t have the money to pull off a high-profile Olympic ceremony.
Fuck it. Let them do what they want. They’ll only fail.